So today I got confirmation I am not pregnant. You know I thought I would be really disappointed but I am not. I've been spending a lot of time praying about this. I am really at peace with whatever plans God has for Westin and I. God has been showing me there is nothing better than being in his presence and perfect will. Whatever His will is I am happy with it.

I think there is nothing worse than waiting to see if your hard work :) paid off when taking the pregnancy test. I have mixed feelings about taking the test...I haven't done it yet. I just don't want to be disappointed. But then I think, it can't be a disappointment because God is in control of it all. Yeah I know, that's just the Bible right answer. Does it make me feel any better when and if I see a BIG negative sign? Hum, I am not sure it does. What does that say about my faith?
Maybe I won't take any test...just ride it out. I am sure if I am pregnant some things will change eventually :)

I have been thinking a lot about what God's plans are for my life. Here I am 30 and at one point in time I thought I would have like three or four kids by now. Yeah I know, isn't that crazy. It's funny how we plan out our lives and then God does something totally different.
So what does God want? Is wanting a baby wrong? Do we always doubt our desires when they don't come true as fast as we think they should have? I think it's natural to have doubts in life. If we had it all figured out then where would all the fun be. During this time I am enjoying all that God has for me. He is so good and I can't be sad because the many blessings in my life SO out weigh the things I "think" I should have right now.