Many times I have been ask, how can I help? Is there anything you need? A good friend of mine suggested I write a blog post about how to help. Now, before I start, these ideas are from MY perspective. Not all foster parents will agree with me and that's ok. I hope and pray these suggestions can shed a little light into a world that is not known by many and how different it can actually be.

1. Pray.
Being a foster parent is hard for many reasons. Before you help on a practical level, pray. Pray that God would give them strength to get thru that specific day. Pray for supernatural grace for the birth parents. For peace in the midst of uncertainty...pray, pray and pray. Set yourself a reminder and pray for them once a week. Trust me, we feel your prayers.

2. Don't judge, ask questions (this one applies greatly to those foster parents that have older children in their home).
Most people only know each other on a surface level. When a foster parents opens their home to a child everything changes. Foster kids come from many different backgrounds. If you are placed with a seven year old child that has been in one, two, three different homes, how much harder will it be to teach that child your values, family dynamic and so on? You say, "Well didn't you say yes to that child?" Yes they might have, but no foster parent is ever told all the information.
Things will look different than the traditional family. You might see things your child doesn't do or you might disagree with that parenting style. Either way there is never a good time to judge. If you don't understand why that foster parent has to bear hug their child and speak softly into their ear, just ask. If you see a foster parent or a parent in general for that matter having a bad day with the kids, pull them aside and ask, can I do anything for you right now?
With this suggestion it's important to remember you don't know all the details. Before judging, stop to understand that person and their situation.

3. Bring a meal or a bag of goodies.
A good friend of mine stopped by my house and dropped off a bag full of Trader Joe's goodies. It was such a huge help. There were practical things like frozen pizzas, bananas, dipped pretzels, cereal and some other things. It doesn't have to be much. Don't over think it, just get stuff you would like. This suggestions is especially helpful when having an older child because those frozen pizzas and quick meals are amazing when you're the only one home.

4. Get approved to watch foster kids.
Many people don't realize foster kids can't be watched by just anyone. All babysitters for foster kids must be approved (background checked) by the state before watching kids. This one was a huge blessing for us when a couple in our church small group offered to be regular babysitters for our children. I can't tell you how truly grateful we are for them. If you have foster parents in your circle of friends, offer to complete the paperwork and bless them by giving them a night off once in a while.

5. Donate your kids old toys and/or clothes. 
When we were placed with our five year old boy many people loved us in this way. Having age appropriate toys and clothes ready for that foster child says, we were ready for you. That child can have some ease connecting with a favorite toy instead of trying to understand why he or she is in a strangers home.

6. Stop by.
I know this may not work for everyone but if you have their cell number, send them a text and see if they are available for a friend visit. For me this is especially amazing because my husband works odd hours so when most people are at home with the family he is at work. The more kids you have in the house the harder it is to get out. Sometimes it's easier if a friend just stops by to say hello and give that parent some adult time.

7. Throw a baby/child shower.
When a woman announces to her family and friends she is pregnant there is joy, expectation and excitement. Baby showers, registries and all kinds of things are planned anticipating the baby's arrival. As a foster parent these things don't tend to happen. Many times placements are same day with little time to plan for a child coming into your home.
Just before we received our foster license, two dear friends of mine planned a baby shower for me. Many people didn't understand and had questions as to why they were throwing a shower for me. Well to my shock we were licensed that Monday after the shower and received our first placement, a nine day old baby girl that following day. We received a couple of gift cards and I thought to buy a convertible car seat so we could be prepared, just in case. Practically that shower was a huge blessing because we were much more prepared when our baby came. Whether a foster family is waiting, has a child placed with them or gets more children, consider loving them in this way.

8. Don't forget about them.
I think it's easy to be super excited about foster parents being placed with their first child, especially if it's a little newborn baby. Over time though, people forget. Remember that every time a foster parent is placed with a child it can be a time to celebrate.  Support them with your words, simple acts of service and prayer.