Archive for February 2016

My response...

Tuesday, February 2, 2016

We recently moved to the Las Vegas area last April and I have met many moms, families and people along the way. Play dates, library story times and conversations in general most always lead to our story of adopting Micah-Grace thru the Washington State Foster Care System. Generally the response is always something like this, "Wow! I have always thought about foster care. I could never do that. It would be so hard to let go of the kids and how could any parent do the things they do for their child to be in foster care? You guys are amazing!"

Now let me just say first hand, we are NOT amazing. I am always taken back by that comment because I am so aware how amazing we are NOT. We have experiences some joy, hardship, blessing and trials being foster parents but through it all, Jesus Christ has been our focus. We strongly believe everything can be used for God's glory. There have been moments where I have cried out in prayer not sure if I would be able to make it. The one thing that has never changed is Christ's love and provision. With every placement there is fear and uncertainty but God is good. He has a plan for our family and each child that comes into our home.

The other part of the response I always struggle with is the reactions about biological parents. Most of the time the response is filled with anger and judgement. When I share my daughter tested positive for two types of drugs more comments are made in defense of our little girl and how could a mom ever do that. I understand the anger and judgment but with so much love and gentleness I try to remind them of the following:

1. This may be all they know - Many parents of foster kids are a product of the system themselves. Moms addicted to drugs, alcohol and the lifestyle may know nothing else because that's all they saw. Remember when you were young and you were taught manners, to be thankful, to share, etc.? What if you didn't have parents to teach you that stuff? Wouldn't you follow their example? Maybe they were abused at an early age and their only way out of the situation was to go but they had no where to go. You never know these bio-parent's stories fully so don't be quick to judge.

2. You never know what tomorrow has for you - I don't know the future. Sometimes bad things happen and we may not be in a place in our lives to deal with it fully. I could lose my husband tomorrow and the pain of the event could put me over the edge making it impossible for me to take care of my daughter. Things can happen that break us. If you don't have family, community and people to support you through it, what makes you think you couldn't lose your kids? If that did happen, wouldn't you want a chance to get your child(ren) back? Some of these bio-parents made a mistake and need that love and support to get better for themselves and their child(ren).

3. Jesus - When you study the life of Jesus you see him with all the outcasts. He didn't go hang out with the "good" and "religious" people. His whole life is about saving the lost both physically and spiritually. Prostitutes, tax collectors, the sick and rejected people were who he wanted to be with because they needed His love. These bio-parents NEED our love. We could be the only people that show them grace, love, compassion and forgiveness. Trust me, they have enough people judging them.

I know what you may be thinking...wow that's really hard to do when you hear some of the foster care stories. Yes I know. What I have learned is God's love for me is big enough to share. He forgives me. He gives me second chances. He gives grace where grace is undeserved. When I remember what Christ has done and how much He loves me, it's easier to see through His eyes.

Therefore I tell you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven - for she loved much. But he who is forgiven little, loves little.
Luke 7:47

"Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it for me."
Matthew 25:40b

"For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly...but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us."
Romans 5: 6, 8







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