Dear friend,

You are on my heart a lot. It seems daily I am reminded of the pain and hurt you must feel wondering when it will be your turn. I too have and continue to struggle with understanding God's timing and will for my life when it comes to having a child. I know what it's like to never read the words "positive" or "pregnant". The excitement of being "late" now screams disappointment and utter sadness reading the same dreadful words over and over. 

Although I have never been pregnant and been thru a miscarriage I often wonder if that would be better. Would it be easier to deal with the pain if I knew that it was actually possible to get pregnant? I know, it wouldn't be easier at all and can't even begin to understand the pain you have experienced after a such loss. I don't know first hand but I feel your pain. I know your tears. I know how hard it is to be happy for yet another friend being pregnant. I know there are times you just fall to your knees crying out why.  Dear friend, I feel your hurt. 

It must be hard to talk about it at times. Feeling like a broken record sharing your pain again and again, wondering when is a proper time to get over it. How do you get over something that seems so impossible? You don't want pity but you do want to keep talking about it because the pain is still there. 

I know sometimes you tell yourself God is punishing you. That somewhere in time you must have done something to deserve this. It is so hard to find an explanation for the pain thinking if you knew why it would make the hurt go away. Dear friend, I understand.

I know what it's like when the Enemy whispers in your ear, God doesn't care for you. That God somehow has made a mistake. He lies to you when you see a pregnant woman, receive a baby shower invitation, see a gender reveal post on Facebook, etc. Sometimes it seems like he is the only voice you hear screaming at you.
I could tell you that God has a plan and He has it all under control but I know you've heard that. Yes, that is very true indeed and at times it has encouraged you, I am sure. But I know the times these words don't mean a thing. When the pain is so real that nothing makes it "feel" better. I know you have shed many tears and may continue to do so. I can't tell you it will be all better and tomorrow you will be pregnant.
Dear friend, I will tell you one thing though. God loves you so much. You are His daughter and He delights in you. When He thinks of you He is pleased. Nothing can change the love He has for you. He knows every tear you have shed for that lost baby. He feels your pain when it's not your turn yet again. He is with you through it all and He doesn't forget. He hasn't forgotten about you sweet friend. Your pain doesn't go unnoticed by your Creator. This is not the way He wanted things to go. Sin ruined everything but He loves you! He loves you dear friend! The Creator of the world loves you!
You are in my prayers friend. I won't forget you. Even though my foster kids call me mommy I won't forget you. I pray the love of Christ surrounds you today. That His love for you would shine thru your pain.  I pray you know, CHRIST LOVES YOU!

"For God so love the world, that he gave his only Son, That whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life."
John 3:16