Dear child that didn't stay,

I think of you often, every day in fact. There are so many things that remind me of you. When a bus passes by I think of how much you loved buses and wanted to ride one all the time. If I see a baby snuggled up with their momma, I think of the sweet kisses and snuggles we shared for a brief weekend. When I hear another child with the same name as you, my heart aches thinking of you. I wonder what you are up to day. Are you walking? Are you making new friends?

Sometimes I doubt myself and wonder if I could have done more. I struggle knowing I might not have been what you needed. I know I made mistakes and probably hurt you as a parent. I am sorry.

I pray for you often. My heart slowly heals when I ask God to be with you, to protect you and watch over you wherever you are. Even though I don't see you anymore, you are forever etched in my heart. It's like a piece of my heart is forever yours. You called me mom and loved me as your own. I am so thankful for the time I spent with you. It was hard losing you and I don't think it will ever be the same. You life matters to us and to Christ. He has a plan for you. It's a promise He made and I believe He will see it through in your life. I pray that the verses you memorized and the Word of God you heard me read begin to take fruit in your life. That God would change your story and make it be a light that shines his goodness and love.

As I sat watching my daughter sleep last night, you came to my mind. With tears in my eyes, God once again reminded me that you are His. You are His creation and He doesn't make mistakes. You are loved sweet child by me and our heavenly Father. I haven't forgotten you. You are still very much part of my life. I think that part may never change.

"And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose." - Romans 8:28