For a while now, I have been extremely overloaded with emotions that in the past have been unfamiliar to me. It has been a tough season getting adjusted to having two kids, one being five years old when he joined our family. This season has led me to more prayer, reading God's Word and desiring to learn more about how to parent the way God desires.
"Greatness is never the product of giftedness. Greatness is always the product of faithfulness."
Crawford Loritts from R13 Conference
I wasn't able to attend the R13 Conference that was held last November but I greatly benefited being able to watch it online. Although Pastor Crawford spoke the above in the context of church leadership, I believe it's a principle all of us learn in life, sometimes the hard way like I did. Being a great parent is not having all the right answers, having kids that always obey you, or never making mistakes. Being a great parent is a product of faithfulness and sometimes that greatness is hardly what the world thinks is great. Faithfulness is hard in the midst of trial. It is hard to have faith when you don't know if things will ever get better. I believe it's in those moments that God blesses our faithfulness. Westin and I could have given up a long time ago. You could easily justify yourself but God has called us to be faithful.
__________
"Character comes through pain."
Rick Warren from R13
My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.
2 Corinthians 12:9
What has been the most rewarding in life came through pain. The foster care system is full of pain. Why would you sign up for uncertainty, poor communication, constantly being under the microscope while trying to parent and so much more? In an earlier blog post, I mentioned thinking that God gives us a la-la feeling when desiring new things such as getting married, having kids, etc. In His goodness He doesn't show us everything because if He did, we wouldn't follow Him down the hard road ahead. I think anyone that is married can testify to that. Is marriage amazing? Of course but, it's also very hard. The same goes for raising children.
The scripture in 2 Corinthians has given me so much encouragement during this tough season. The Lord is with me. He is my strength even when I have nothing else to give.
__________
"A God-centered parent, on the other hand, acts out of reverenece for God. Regardless of how my children treat me, I know that God wills that I move toward my children, to get engaged in their lives, to offer biblical correction and loving support. It doesn't matter how they respond to me as much as it matters what God has called me to do."
Sacred Parenting by Gary Thomas
"Becoming a mother is a role that most women are ill-prepared for or ill-trained to understand, yet it has such vast consequences in the course and direction of history. I have even come to believe that a mother's role might be the most determining factor as to how history will unfold."
Sarah Mae & Sally Clarkson from Desperate: Hope for the Mom Who Needs to Breathe
And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.
Romans 8:28
A calling. It's as simple as that. When God calls you to do something, never forget it. There will be times when the calling is too hard. You will want to give up. You will feel inadequate. You will probably fail over and over. What matters most is the calling. We are called to parent, specifically foster kids. Were we ready for everything it brought? No! I believe the enemy tries to make us forget our calling every day. If he could get us to forget the God of the universe called us to something beyond our strength, the enemy rejoices. When we forget, we are most vulnerable. It is so much easier to feel sorry for yourself in the midst of disobedient children, depression, an unconsolable crying baby and many more hard situations. But God calls us to remember the calling.
__________
"...the process of parenting is one of the most spiritually formative journey a man and a woman can ever undertake."
Sacred Parenting by Gary Thomas
I need thee, O I need thee;
every hour I need thee;
O bless me now, my Savior, I come to thee
Hymn, Text by Annie S. Hawks
When you were "great" at your job you found your identity in that. I don't want you to find your identity in being a mother...find it in me.
A word God gave me when I was going thru depression.
I have never needed and desired God more then when I became a parent. I need him every hour. One night after a hard day of parenting, I went down to our basement where the wood stove was burning and just sang the three lines of the song above over and over. Those were the only words that could explain exactly how I felt. God continues to bring me to my knees in prayer showing me that it's only in Him that I have true joy. Even when I feel like I did something right as a mom that feeling of accomplishment quickly dies.
__________
"When we realize that having children isn't about us but rather about God, then the trials and sacrifices of parenting are more easily borne."
Sacred Parenting by Gary Thomas
I wish I would have fully understood this earlier. I think I missed precious moments with my kids believing the lie that kids were created for me and my happiness. When that truth became real, trials and sacrifices became easier to accept and deal with.
__________
"Parenting will lead us to confront spiritual sins that we never even knew existed."
Sacred Parenting by Gary Thomas
There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.
Proverbs 12:18
A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
Proverbs 15:1
Be angry, and do not sin, ponder in your own hearts on your beds, and be silent.
Psalm 4:4
I never thought I struggled with anger until I had kids. The Lord continues to show me how my anger comes out of a selfish heart. The desire to have some alone time is good but it becomes sinful when I have no more patience for my son who has now come out of his bedroom for the forth time after tucking him in for bed. You get frustrated as a parent, even angry which sometimes is ok, but what are we doing with that anger. I love the verse above, "but the tongue of the wise brings healing." We can bring healing to our kids and that's especially important in foster care. What a strong word full of encouragement.
__________
These are some of the things I have learned and will continue to learn. Some of the truths were really hard. Sometimes repentance came slow. I want to end this post with one final quote.
"We live in the midst of holy teachers. Sometimes they spit up on themselves or on us. Sometimes they throw tantrums. Sometimes they cuddle us and kiss us and love us. In the good and the bad they mold our hearts, shape our souls, and invite us to experience God in newer and deeper ways. Although we may shed many tears along this sacred journey of parenting, numerous blessings await us around every bend in the road."
Sacred Parenting by Gary Thomas
"Character comes through pain."
Rick Warren from R13
My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.
2 Corinthians 12:9
What has been the most rewarding in life came through pain. The foster care system is full of pain. Why would you sign up for uncertainty, poor communication, constantly being under the microscope while trying to parent and so much more? In an earlier blog post, I mentioned thinking that God gives us a la-la feeling when desiring new things such as getting married, having kids, etc. In His goodness He doesn't show us everything because if He did, we wouldn't follow Him down the hard road ahead. I think anyone that is married can testify to that. Is marriage amazing? Of course but, it's also very hard. The same goes for raising children.
The scripture in 2 Corinthians has given me so much encouragement during this tough season. The Lord is with me. He is my strength even when I have nothing else to give.
__________
"A God-centered parent, on the other hand, acts out of reverenece for God. Regardless of how my children treat me, I know that God wills that I move toward my children, to get engaged in their lives, to offer biblical correction and loving support. It doesn't matter how they respond to me as much as it matters what God has called me to do."
Sacred Parenting by Gary Thomas
"Becoming a mother is a role that most women are ill-prepared for or ill-trained to understand, yet it has such vast consequences in the course and direction of history. I have even come to believe that a mother's role might be the most determining factor as to how history will unfold."
Sarah Mae & Sally Clarkson from Desperate: Hope for the Mom Who Needs to Breathe
And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.
Romans 8:28
A calling. It's as simple as that. When God calls you to do something, never forget it. There will be times when the calling is too hard. You will want to give up. You will feel inadequate. You will probably fail over and over. What matters most is the calling. We are called to parent, specifically foster kids. Were we ready for everything it brought? No! I believe the enemy tries to make us forget our calling every day. If he could get us to forget the God of the universe called us to something beyond our strength, the enemy rejoices. When we forget, we are most vulnerable. It is so much easier to feel sorry for yourself in the midst of disobedient children, depression, an unconsolable crying baby and many more hard situations. But God calls us to remember the calling.
__________
"...the process of parenting is one of the most spiritually formative journey a man and a woman can ever undertake."
Sacred Parenting by Gary Thomas
I need thee, O I need thee;
every hour I need thee;
O bless me now, my Savior, I come to thee
Hymn, Text by Annie S. Hawks
When you were "great" at your job you found your identity in that. I don't want you to find your identity in being a mother...find it in me.
A word God gave me when I was going thru depression.
I have never needed and desired God more then when I became a parent. I need him every hour. One night after a hard day of parenting, I went down to our basement where the wood stove was burning and just sang the three lines of the song above over and over. Those were the only words that could explain exactly how I felt. God continues to bring me to my knees in prayer showing me that it's only in Him that I have true joy. Even when I feel like I did something right as a mom that feeling of accomplishment quickly dies.
__________
"When we realize that having children isn't about us but rather about God, then the trials and sacrifices of parenting are more easily borne."
Sacred Parenting by Gary Thomas
I wish I would have fully understood this earlier. I think I missed precious moments with my kids believing the lie that kids were created for me and my happiness. When that truth became real, trials and sacrifices became easier to accept and deal with.
__________
"Parenting will lead us to confront spiritual sins that we never even knew existed."
Sacred Parenting by Gary Thomas
There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.
Proverbs 12:18
A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
Proverbs 15:1
Be angry, and do not sin, ponder in your own hearts on your beds, and be silent.
Psalm 4:4
I never thought I struggled with anger until I had kids. The Lord continues to show me how my anger comes out of a selfish heart. The desire to have some alone time is good but it becomes sinful when I have no more patience for my son who has now come out of his bedroom for the forth time after tucking him in for bed. You get frustrated as a parent, even angry which sometimes is ok, but what are we doing with that anger. I love the verse above, "but the tongue of the wise brings healing." We can bring healing to our kids and that's especially important in foster care. What a strong word full of encouragement.
__________
These are some of the things I have learned and will continue to learn. Some of the truths were really hard. Sometimes repentance came slow. I want to end this post with one final quote.
"We live in the midst of holy teachers. Sometimes they spit up on themselves or on us. Sometimes they throw tantrums. Sometimes they cuddle us and kiss us and love us. In the good and the bad they mold our hearts, shape our souls, and invite us to experience God in newer and deeper ways. Although we may shed many tears along this sacred journey of parenting, numerous blessings await us around every bend in the road."
Sacred Parenting by Gary Thomas
